True Friend

was suddenly shocked terribly by a friend when i was whether i have a friend whom i can confide everything with. like really everything. i think such a person shud be able to share the same line of thoughts with u for most things. like, perspective of life, death and other similar stuff. well, i seriously don’t have a single friend like that. there were times when i could have someone to tell abt my sufferings, or perhaps but rarely, joy. but they’re so virtual, unreal, cos they’re my online friends, which do not last long, at least for me. my friends around me…are always discussing superficial stuff, every time i mention something that sounds a bit philosophical, they’d shut up and shun me. n then they’d say im emo. but im NOT! emo is like being really depressed, to the extent that u want to hurt urself to let the physical pain overpower the mental pain. but me, i just try to figure out the truths myself, doubting everything, asking questions over and over again, until i reach the roots. i still carry on life as usual cos i realize it’s only logical to do so, it is the fate of a 21th Century teenager to live this kind of life. wat’s the point of doing anything unnecessary, after we just fulfill our purpose of lasting thru our lives, nothing will be left from our existence.

events: today was Combined sports meet. it was boring as usual. i saw some people, whom i dun normally see, as usual. n walked around n tried to escape. dat’s all. the only interesting part was perhaps that some weird nanyang people came to buy hwachong jacket.(FOR WHAT) and they even wore it, despite the blazing heat.

saw someone really unexpectedly while walking downslope in the direction of poolside. looked at each other. n i duno if i was given a smile or a smirk.

later on was LAN and Movie for sheng outing. LAN-not much to say. Movie was The Forbidden Kingdom. i think it wasn’t really nice… especially the spastic accent from Jet Li. Jackie Chan was alright i guess…but it’s really funny how everybody in ancient China speaks english and even 玉黄大帝 could speak english……. i found the “White-Haired Assassin” chio, her body was perfect. =D then..liu2yi4fei1’s role in this movie wasn’t really well explained. oh n on the bus from the LAN center to orchard road, we saw this guy who spoke really loud on his phone. everybody else was quiet or perhaps sleepy. the last sentence before he left the bus was “OH SHIT. I TOOK THE WRONG BUS!” i must commend him for his pronunciation, bcoz he pronounced every syllable perfectly, especially the “SHIT”. i couldn’t believe i heard it at that time, n i was wondering if it’s part of my dream, cos i fell asleep a few times.

on the journey home, suddenly felt sulky. like something felt wrong. something about going out like this is wrong. that it actually does NOT fit my way of life. being in HCICOSheng… SERIOUSLY had a great impact on me.